Lost in Transaction

Tony Chen

4/24th/2012

Dr. Mairead Byrne

Material Poetics

Lost in Transaction
Chinese Poetry Translation of Arthur Waley and Ezra Pound

           

            Is it ever possible, for poetry translation to do justice for two absolutely different languages? English is a latin based language with a strong grammar construction while chinese is a language of vocabulary base and every symbol could be a word. The possibility of translating traditional Chinese poetry, which is under so much restrictions, laws, rhymes and construction seem to be rather impossible.  Arthur Waley and Ezra Pound were two that that did the translations in their own distinctive ways. Arthur Waley attempts to translate the poetry word by word, and maintain as much originality of the poem as possible, while Ezra Pound attempts to “Invent” the poem through his state of mind. However, it is hard to say that it is still the same poem, but rather the reminiscence of the original poem, and created a new poem.

            Chinese poetry reached one of its peaks during the Tang dynasty (618-907), both Arthur Waley and Ezra Pound translated selected poems of that time period. It is a time when poems are written in a specific way. There are laws created to increase the artistic level of poems and their smooth transition from words into songs. One important limitation is the amount of words used within a fragment, could be five, six or seven. The laws do not impose a limitation on the amount of sentences but unifies word count within fragments. This only limits the amount of words used within each sentence. This limitation gives a poem a strong movement, a smooth music tone and a very organized layout. Is it possible, to maintain the beauty of these established laws even when it is translated into another language? The clean organization, the strong expression reserved within short lines, the movement of sound, just could not be the same but created within the translators expectations, sentiments and will.

                        The first poem to look into would be “After passing the examination” by Po Ch-i. The translation of this poem is done by Arthur Waley.

AFTER PASSING THE EXAMINATION

及第後歸覲，留別諸同年

For ten years I never left my books; I went up… and won unmerited praise. My high place I do not much prize; The joy of my parents will first make me proud. Fellow students, six or seven men, See me off as I leave the City gate. My covered couch is ready to drive away; Flutes and strings blend their parting tune. Hopes achieved dull the pains of parting; Fumes of wine shorten the long road… Shod with wings is the horse of him who rides On a Spring day the road that leads to home. (Waley 120)

十年常苦學，一上謬成名。 擢第未為貴，賀親方始榮。 時輩六七人，送我出帝成。 軒車動行色，絲管舉離聲。 得意減別恨，半酣輕遠程。 翩翩馬蹄疾，春日歸鄉情。

           

            Arthur Waley is one of the early translators of the Chinese poetry. He himself understands the language fairly well. Even though he has never been to China, but his background displays his method of translation. He understands the text thus with the text he translates it into english and fixes or varnish the new version to his satisfaction while remaining as close to the original meaning as possible. His translations are at times, too simplified. It does preserve the meaning of the poem but lost some parts of its beauty. The attempt of direct translating without much of his hands involved actually does the poem less justice. He is not involved within the poetry translation, but simply translating the words. The entire poem starts to turn into something that could have been easily written by someone with a basic Chinese education in a immature fashion that would still reach the same result in translation with his method. It is too simplified and not doing justice to the poem, removing the well considered portions of the poem, leaving behind its casket.

            Just from the first glance, one could observe the great difference within the layout of the text. On the right every text is aligned in a simple and organized manner, with the same amount of words within each fragment and two fragments that form a sentence. Arthur Waley broke immediately from this pattern in his translations. It is also surprising that Arthur Waley decided to give this poem a brand new title that has nothing to do with its original title. It seems to be that the original title, if translated directly into english will loose its attraction, as it would be difficult to understand. The original title is about the return back home and the poet looking back to the days when he is away. It does not have a strong relation with the new title, After Passing The Examination. However, it is bazzare for him to have changed his constant method of direct translation only for the title. The original meaning of the title would be closer to "return home after the passing years".

            Arthur Waley’s style of translation makes very little sense if it is attempting to translate a traditional chinese poem. It would be a lot more suitable if executed on a contemporary poem.  The use of language and style would be less confined by traditional rules and reduces the room of being "lost in transaction". The poem of Xi-Mu Rong, would be much more appropriate and appreciated.

一棵開花的樹

如何讓你遇見我
在我最美麗的時刻 為這
我已在佛前 求了五百年
求祂讓我們結一段塵緣

佛於是把我化做一棵樹
長在你必經的路旁

陽光下慎重地開滿了花
朵朵都是我前世的盼望

當你走近 請你細聽
那顫抖的葉是我等待的熱情

而當你終於無視地走過
在你身後落了一地的
朋友啊 那不是花瓣

是我凋零的心

Even for a person who does not Chinese, would be able to see that the text are not aligned. They are also not following a very specific pattern in terms of word count. The language used with the poem is also much more casual. The casual language allows Waley’s style of poetry translation to demonstrate its greatest strength. His simple translation method would not remove much of what is intended by the Xi-Mu Rong. I would envision Waley’s translation to be something like this. (personally translated in Waley’s style)

A Blooming Tree

How would I let you meet me

At my most beautiful moment   For the

I have begged the Buddha   For five hundred years

Beg thy to tie us with the bounds of this world

Thus the Buddha formed me into a tree

Growing beside the path you will certainly pass

Under the sun, flowers carefully bloomed

Each flower is my past life’s hopes

When you come close    Please Carefully listen

The leaves shiver from my patience passion

When you finally walked pass and ignore

What fell behind you

Oh my friend     Those are not petals

Its my withered heart

The beauty of the poem could be still greatly experienced. The poem is written like a story, the change of language in this manner would not break the message of the story, as for traditional poetry; it would greatly effect the original poem. One could still experience the tension within the poem, the sacrifice in exchange for emptiness, and the fallen petals as the withered heart. The pain is still vivid. This does not work as well on traditional poetry when the main beauty lies in the words to convey the experience of the story rather than the actual story. Waley’s translation gives the audience a glimpse of the poem but it is not a very good way to translate all poetry but rather, a very limited method.

            Ezra pound in the other hand is a very interesting poet. Instead of trying to translate Chinese poetry directly by translating everything word by word, he allowed his own imaginations and personal sentiments to decide how the poetry is translated. Here is one of his famous translation on Li Po’s Chang Gan Xing (長干行)

The River Merchant's Wife: A Letter Ezra Pound While my hair was still cut straight across my forehead I played about the front gate, pulling flowers. You came by on bamboo stilts, playing horse, You walked about my seat, playing with blue plums. And we went on living in the village of Chokan: Two small people, without dislike or suspicion. At fourteen I married my Lord you. I never laughed, being bashful. Lowering my head, I looked at the wall. Called to, a thousand times, I never looked back. At fifteen I stopped scowling, I desired my dust to be mingled with yours For ever and for ever and for ever. Why should I climb the look out? At sixteen you departed, You went into far Ku-to-yen, by the river of swirling eddies, And you have been gone five months. The monkeys make sorrowful noises overhead. You dragged your feet when you went out. By the gate now, the moss is grown, the different mosses, Too deep to clear them away! The leaves fall early this autumn, in wind. The paired butterflies are already yellow with August Over the grass in the west garden; They hurt me. I grow older. If you are coming down through the narrows of the river Kiang, Please let me know beforehand, And I will come out to meet you     As far as Cho-fu-sa. (Xie 115)

李白 長干行 妾髮初覆額 折花門前劇 郎騎竹馬來 遶床弄青梅 同居長干里 兩小無嫌猜 十四為君婦 羞顏未嘗開 低頭向暗壁 千喚不一回 十五始展眉 願同塵與灰 常存抱柱信 豈上望夫臺 十六君遠行 瞿塘灩澦堆 五月不可觸 猿鳴天上哀 門前遲行跡 一一生綠苔 苔深不能掃 落葉秋風早 八月蝴蝶來 雙飛西園草 感此傷妾心 坐愁紅顏老 早晚下三巴 預將書報家 相迎不道遠 直至長風沙

This is one of the greatest translation upon Li Po’s poem that did not seem forced. He translated it not word by word, but rather following the feel of his free spirit. What is amazing about this style, is his ability to get the meaning of the poem but at the same time, provide it with the life of english poetry. Through this process, the result of the translation is smoother and carries a much deeper artistic price. It no longer looks like a “google translation” modified by english scholar but rather a peom translated by a poem’s poet. For example the line “I desired my dust to be mingled with yours, For ever and for ever and for ever.” This line clearly grasps the feeling of eternity and the strings of connecting between the two, Ezra Pound only wishes to grasp the feeling of the poem, as he understands, entirely grasping the words within two different poems is close to impossible. The last line is a phenomenal decision by Ezra Pound; he decided to leave the line as it is in the poem instead of trying to translate it. For unknowing reasons, he understood the beauty with that line that could only be carried through with sound and the Chinese language. Instead of translating the final line to be “wind blowing sand” the directly translated the sound, Cho-Fu-Sa. The artistic sentiment within Ezra Pound is fully demonstrated with this poem. It is astonishing that he manages to translate with feeling rather than the understanding of the Chinese language. He fully grasped the Chinese spirit of going with the flow and inner callings. He is a true poet.

            It is obvious that traditional Chinese poetry contains a lot of play with rhymes, word alignment and etc. Thus translating it into English is a complicated process. It is difficult to have both the spirit and the style. Waley is one of the pioneers in Chinese poetry translation. He has deep Chinese understandings, but his translations appear to be dull. He missed both the spirit and style but only ménages to capture the surface meaning. Pound on the other hand, decided that he would leave the style alone and fully focus on spirit with little reminiscence of the style. His method of going with the flow brought Chinese poetry translation to new level.  

Citations

Waley, Arthur. Chinese Poems. Mineola, NY: Dover Publications, 2000. Print.

Xie, Ming. Ezra Pound and the Appropriation of Chinese Poetry: Cathay, Translation, and Imagism. New York: Garland Pub., 1999. Print.